“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

- Jane Howard

Networking is an official-sounding word which simply means connecting and building relationships. It is based on three laws: the law of attraction, the law of reciprocation and the law of contribution. It is more easily done with an “abundance mentality” as opposed to a “scarcity mentality”, and although some   people might make the whole process look easy… well, it isn’t. They are “faking it” just like you.

Approximately 70% - 82% of the opportunities out there – finding a job, creating a strategic alliance, getting a new client or contract – can be attributed to networking! Whether it is social, civic, professional or online, networking is the new paradigm.

Contrary to popular belief, networking is not rocket science. It is as natural as   starting up a conversation with the cashier at the local Trader Joes about snowstorms or the Tigers. Instead of the drudgery that people equate with it, we can reframe our perception of it as simply a pathway to connect. Recent studies on human contentment, success and creating resilience for hard times point to one common denominator which crosses cultural, gender, socio-economic and educational boundaries: Social Relationships. And the way to create those is via networking!

Here are some points to consider:

ICE-BREAKERS: A more effortless ice-breaker is to start networking conversations by focusing on the HERE and NOW: Hi, my name is Michele… this is certainly an interesting event. Or: The guest speaker was difficult to hear with the venue acoustics - did you catch what she said at the end of her presentation when everyone laughed? Or: I’m new to the area, recently moved here from California and I joined the Michigan Council of Women in Technology in April – are you a member?

LAW OF ATTRACTION: Pay attention to the Law of Attraction. You will know if the connection is flowing or not – the answer is either in your gut (instinct, intuition, rapid cognition of your brain) or it’s in the fact that you are either coming up with topics which flow easily… or you are experiencing awkward silences. If there is no connection, smile and politely move on.

PAY ATTENTION: What gets most of us stuck is that we are not paying attention. When the little voice in our head tells us “nasty” things about ourselves, about others, about the room, about the economy, about the whole networking thing… we stop paying attention and might miss an opportunity.

ELEVATOR PITCH: Here is one version -  Name / Position or Expertise / Company / Length of time / Location / Result(s) / Unique fact / Your “ask” / Your offer

More points to consider:

• Do a little preparation for the event, venue, organization, etc. This can be as simple as glancing at a website or looking up a speaker on Google.
• Dress for success… Although this sounds obvious, it is amazing how often people will show up looking fatigued or “droopy”. Try to make an effort.
• Bring business cards, and trust your instinct if you would offer them or not. Asking for a card is usually safe at first (if there is a connection). Keep in mind that some people do not collect them, some do.
• Sometimes you will offer your sixty (or thirty) second commercial – sometimes not. Sometimes you will talk about Labrador Retrievers or France or enchilada sauce the whole time.
• Don’t get all wrapped up in “numbers”. Sometimes you will talk to many people, sometimes only to a few people. (For entrepreneurs, many cards help create mailing lists, so occasionally go on “collecting sprees”).
• Don’t get all wrapped up in “outcomes”. You might meet a great connection, you might not. Also, set up one goal for that event (I’m going to introduce myself to the speaker / I’m going to meet the host).
• If you do connect to someone, follow up. Don’t think about it. Just do it.
• Reciprocation is key. Listen, ask questions AND talk about yourself. 
• Offer to volunteer at an event, help set up, help break down, etc. This is the Law of Contribution at work and it can create deeper connections.
• This is a hard one, but worth adding: If you are having a REALLY down day - you know the kind of day we mean, right? - then you might want to just stay home (even if you pre-paid for the event).
• Remember that experts have invaluable knowledge to offer, but beware of promises or “secrets” that work for everyone. Learn, practice, learn more, practice more. Each event, each contact, each moment is unique.
• Try to stay relatively up to date on current topics. This knowledge might come in handy, as well as offer shared content for conversation.
• Set up an Accountability Partner!! to meet at the event (just in case you were thinking that cleaning out your garage suddenly becomes a better idea!). Hang out with them a lot or a little or not at all. Be flexible.
• Make sure to thank the host, organizer, speaker. This creates attraction, reciprocation AND contribution in one fell swoop. GOOD LUCK!